I use the analogy of a garden a lot in my coaching. We clear the soil of weeds and debris, add compost, plant seeds and tend it with love and gratitude. As we do all of this with a watchful eye, our seeds germinate and flourish.
Your life is the garden. Your thinking is the soil. Opening to new ideas and to new ways of seeing and of doing things is the compost. Self-love, generosity and integrity are the seeds. Your consciousness is the tending.
If you never go outside and look at your garden, but apply the compost without removing the weeds and just have the irrigation system automatically take care of the watering, you may be surprised at what's flourishing there. One day, you may look out the window and see huge weeds that you hadn't even known were there. Yet, you've been on autopilot tending to them for weeks, month or perhaps even years on end.
The same is true of your life. If you never pause and look around your life, but simply do what you've always done, share your hurts and resentments with others to build your case against the offending party and remain closed to new ways of being, you may be surprised at what's flourishing there. Whatever we tend, grows. No, actually it thrives.
What are you tending in your life? Is your life centered around the seeds of love, peace, joy and gratitude? Are they being thought about, embraced, shared and nurtured? Or do you have the weeds of anger, hatred, sorrow and resentment overtaking everything?
We get what we sow. And whatever we tend thrives. What's in your garden?
It's within your control to change your thinking, open to new ways of being and doing and consciously nurture self-love, generosity and integrity. The question is, "Are you willing?"
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
More Smiles ~ December 2008
Do You Limit Yourself by Thinking Like This?
Martha Beck, in her book The Joy Diet, calls it a false dichotomy. It’s where we get into a way of thinking and believing that things can only be “either/or”. I can love my family and show it by interacting with them, or not love my family and show it by not interacting with them. That type of thinking prevents us from having any other options. It locks out all other possibilities. What about loving my family and rarely if ever interacting with them? What about despising my family and being with them constantly?
Being willing to notice where we believe in false dichotomies allows life to open up for us and change to become possible. When I give myself permission to love my family dearly, yet to rarely if ever interact with them, I am able to experience profound peace within myself. I’m no longer doing something because I believe I should. I’m now doing it because it is right for me.
Doing what is right for me is a very authentic, nurturing and fulfilling way to live my life. It requires being open to looking at my thoughts and beliefs and questioning whether or not they are indeed true. Just because I’ve believed them for years doesn’t make them true. On the contrary, oftentimes the beliefs I’ve held the longest are the least true for me. I adopted them when I was young, never questioned them and held onto them as irrefutable all my life.
This puts me in mind of choosing to be a firefighter at age 6 and then going on to become one at age 26 because that’s what I said I was going to do since I was a child. Never mind that at age 26 I recognize that I have a gift in connecting with and positively impacting pre-teens. Never mind that I’m drawn to becoming a middle school teacher. I’ve known since I was 6 that I’d be a firefighter and so I am, despite that career not filling me with purpose and joy.
Really, to change takes nothing more than a willingness to observe yourself, notice what you think and believe, and then consider other possible thoughts and beliefs with which to replace the old ones. Once all that has been determined, you can take action based on your newly conceived thoughts and beliefs and see how they work for you. If that doesn’t leave you feeling more in integrity with your values, you can look at the thought or belief again, tweak it and once more take action based on it.
This is how we evolve into the people we have longed to be. This is how we live authentic lives in which we are true to ourselves instead of morphing from relationship to relationship in an effort to please others or to adhere to some unexamined belief we hold. It’s called conscious living and it’s available to anyone who is willing to put the time and the energy into exploring the one thing that they have any control over changing ~ themselves.
Call to action: Where do you engage in “either/or” thinking? What if your thoughts about this weren’t true? What else might be possible? Are you willing to try out one of the new possibilities and see how it leaves you feeling? By when will you do so?
Remember: Life is a process. It is unique to each of us. There isn’t one right way to think, be or do things. Looking around your life and changing those areas where you’ve become entrenched in a way of thinking allows you to experience greater peace. Have fun!
Martha Beck, in her book The Joy Diet, calls it a false dichotomy. It’s where we get into a way of thinking and believing that things can only be “either/or”. I can love my family and show it by interacting with them, or not love my family and show it by not interacting with them. That type of thinking prevents us from having any other options. It locks out all other possibilities. What about loving my family and rarely if ever interacting with them? What about despising my family and being with them constantly?
Being willing to notice where we believe in false dichotomies allows life to open up for us and change to become possible. When I give myself permission to love my family dearly, yet to rarely if ever interact with them, I am able to experience profound peace within myself. I’m no longer doing something because I believe I should. I’m now doing it because it is right for me.
Doing what is right for me is a very authentic, nurturing and fulfilling way to live my life. It requires being open to looking at my thoughts and beliefs and questioning whether or not they are indeed true. Just because I’ve believed them for years doesn’t make them true. On the contrary, oftentimes the beliefs I’ve held the longest are the least true for me. I adopted them when I was young, never questioned them and held onto them as irrefutable all my life.
This puts me in mind of choosing to be a firefighter at age 6 and then going on to become one at age 26 because that’s what I said I was going to do since I was a child. Never mind that at age 26 I recognize that I have a gift in connecting with and positively impacting pre-teens. Never mind that I’m drawn to becoming a middle school teacher. I’ve known since I was 6 that I’d be a firefighter and so I am, despite that career not filling me with purpose and joy.
Really, to change takes nothing more than a willingness to observe yourself, notice what you think and believe, and then consider other possible thoughts and beliefs with which to replace the old ones. Once all that has been determined, you can take action based on your newly conceived thoughts and beliefs and see how they work for you. If that doesn’t leave you feeling more in integrity with your values, you can look at the thought or belief again, tweak it and once more take action based on it.
This is how we evolve into the people we have longed to be. This is how we live authentic lives in which we are true to ourselves instead of morphing from relationship to relationship in an effort to please others or to adhere to some unexamined belief we hold. It’s called conscious living and it’s available to anyone who is willing to put the time and the energy into exploring the one thing that they have any control over changing ~ themselves.
Call to action: Where do you engage in “either/or” thinking? What if your thoughts about this weren’t true? What else might be possible? Are you willing to try out one of the new possibilities and see how it leaves you feeling? By when will you do so?
Remember: Life is a process. It is unique to each of us. There isn’t one right way to think, be or do things. Looking around your life and changing those areas where you’ve become entrenched in a way of thinking allows you to experience greater peace. Have fun!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
What Would You Do Then?
Maybe what so many of us are searching for is to enjoy life exactly the way it is in every moment without searching for anything or trying to change anything outside of ourselves. Maybe what so many of us are searching for is total acceptance of and gratitude for our lives, and maybe we don't have to go anywhere or do anything to find them. We've had them all along if we'd only take the time to recognize it.
In any moment, nothing outside of me needs to change in order for me to experience peace, joy and love. They're always present and available to me. It's simply a question of whether or not I recognize that fact.
How and where do you find yourself believing that you'll be happy, peaceful and loving if and when something happens or someone else changes? You deserve peace, joy and love in every moment. What thought or belief can you let go of, or what action can you take to gift yourself with them right now? Do you need to offer someone an apology, forgive someone, give up being right or ask yourself what love would do or say in this situation? Do so, and enjoy your life!
Richard Bach asks in his book, Illusions, "And what would you do ... if God spoke directly to your face and said, 'I COMMAND THAT YOU BE HAPPY IN THE WORLD AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.' What would you do then?" And I ask you the same thing: "What would you do then?"
In any moment, nothing outside of me needs to change in order for me to experience peace, joy and love. They're always present and available to me. It's simply a question of whether or not I recognize that fact.
How and where do you find yourself believing that you'll be happy, peaceful and loving if and when something happens or someone else changes? You deserve peace, joy and love in every moment. What thought or belief can you let go of, or what action can you take to gift yourself with them right now? Do you need to offer someone an apology, forgive someone, give up being right or ask yourself what love would do or say in this situation? Do so, and enjoy your life!
Richard Bach asks in his book, Illusions, "And what would you do ... if God spoke directly to your face and said, 'I COMMAND THAT YOU BE HAPPY IN THE WORLD AS LONG AS YOU LIVE.' What would you do then?" And I ask you the same thing: "What would you do then?"
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
For That, I Am Grateful
It is so easy to focus on what's 'wrong' within my self, my world and my family. While that may be what's easy and comes most naturally to me, that doesn't mean that it serves me. On the contrary, it actually blocks me from experiencing the gratitude, appreciation and awe that are inherent in the miracle of existence.
It is a miracle that I can have these thoughts and have a means to share them with you, and that you can arrive at some understanding of what I'm conveying. It's a gift that the sun rises each morning and sets each night, and that I can see it. It is one of life's greatest blessings that I can breathe freely every day and live without fear of being able to take my next breath.
Clearly, I don't have to search far to find things that are 'right' or even miraculous. What might be available to you if you regularly tapped into that view of the world ~ what is awe-inspiring and bliss-producing? You really do have so much to be grateful for. Are you taking the time to recognize and acknowledge it?
What practice can you start today that will support you in expressing your gratitude every day?
It is a miracle that I can have these thoughts and have a means to share them with you, and that you can arrive at some understanding of what I'm conveying. It's a gift that the sun rises each morning and sets each night, and that I can see it. It is one of life's greatest blessings that I can breathe freely every day and live without fear of being able to take my next breath.
Clearly, I don't have to search far to find things that are 'right' or even miraculous. What might be available to you if you regularly tapped into that view of the world ~ what is awe-inspiring and bliss-producing? You really do have so much to be grateful for. Are you taking the time to recognize and acknowledge it?
What practice can you start today that will support you in expressing your gratitude every day?
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